Dear Nash...

It's me, Mommy.

Today is the two year anniversary of your death... Those words still seem so strange to me. How can you really be gone, Sweet Boy?

As I'm sure you can see from your view from heaven, we are in Storm Lake with our family as we celebrate you and your life. As difficult as today is, I also know it's important to think of the happy memories we made with you. Remember our trip to the zoo? Remember swimming in Grandma and Grandpa's pool? Remember rocking in my arms as you would drift off to sleep?

I miss you, Nash. In that respect, today is no different than any other day. The longing I have in my heart is so deep that it never really goes away. And why should it? You aren't here with me... and there's no healing for that.

I want you to know something, Honey... Even though you weren't on this Earth for a very long period of time, you have made your mark. You have changed people for the better. Some of them you know and some you never even met. But, Nash, you have made an impact bigger than many people who live to be a hundred. I'm so proud of you...

One more thing... I want you to know that losing you has been the hardest thing I've had to work through in my thirty-one years. It's a daily struggle to keep walking when somedays I'd rather sink to my knees in a puddle of tears. No mother should have to miss their baby as much as I miss you. BUT... I wouldn't change it. If God would have told me on the day you were born that you would only be able to stay for five and half months and that I could choose whether or not I still wanted you, there is absolutely NO DOUBT in my mind that I still would've wanted to be your mom. I would choose you over and over again every time, Baby. Every time.

Look down at us today as we send you yellow balloons. Reach out to your daddy and tell him how much you love him. Tell your brothers that you'll always be watching over them.

We miss you beyond all words. I love you, Baby Nash. Today, tomorrow, and always.
Mommy