Happy Halloween, Y'all!

Growing up in Wisconsin, Chicago, and Iowa, I can't remember many Halloweens that my carefully thought-out costume wasn't covered up by a winter coat... Well, let's just say, I don't think my kids will run into that problem while living down here in the Lone Star State.  When our car thermometer read 86 degrees at 5pm, I was worried my boys would get too hot in their long-sleeved costumes!  Crazy, huh?

Enjoy the pics of our little monkey and our tough Wolverine!

Happy Halloween!
Tracy

What a Weekend!

We began the weekend cheering on our Texas Rangers as they beat the Yankees in game 6 of the American League Championship on Friday night. 

Rangers Win the Pennant!!!

GO RANGERS!!!

And to top it off, this afternoon our very own Iowa State beat #19 Texas in Austin!!!  Gotta love it!

Proud to be a Cyclone!

Love to y'all,

Tracy

Unexpected

Today at school, I was using a computer program to create something that told about my family.  Naturally, I listed my boys' names... Tate, Nash, Knox.  Then I was inserting videos or pictures of them.  I didn't have any pics of Nash saved on my school computer, so I "googled" his name, thinking I would know what I'd see... his obituary or program from his funeral.  But I also knew there would be a great picture of him as well.  So I prepared myself and started typing.  The list that came up was what I had anticipated plus one more thing that I hadn't...

A blog post from the pastor that did Nash's funeral.  It was the exact sermon that he preached to us on July 5, 2008 - the day we said our final goodbyes and laid my baby boy to rest. 

I found myself reading and rereading it over and over again... I remembered some of it so very clearly and other parts I felt as if I'd never even heard.  By the end of it, tears were streaming down my face, as I was suddenly back to the searing pain of that day.

One portion of the sermon really stood out to me.  Reading it again now makes me well up.  But it also gives me great hope and so much faith that Nash is where he is supposed to be...

"Just as Jesus rebuked his disciples, saying, 'Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them...,' so He said to you, Tracy and Brad, on July 1st, 'Let lettle Nash come to me and do not hinder him.  I have prepared a playroom for him in heaven.  I have died and risen again for Nash, it is time for him to receive his crown of glory.  The time is right.  The time is perfect.'

Today, Nash Adam Sievers is crawling all over heaven.  He is playing patty cake with angels.  Nash is being cuddled by his great grandmas.  Today he plays peek-a-boo with his great grandpas.  The heavenly chorus is singing him lullabies.  There is no tear in his eyes but only smiles and laughter... forever.  Just as the Lord Jesus would take up the little children into his arms and cradle them, so Nash is being held by His Savior and tenderly caressed by the Savior who died for him... the Savior who bore the name "Nash Adam Sievers" inscribed upon His hands right near the place where the nails were driven in."

Wow.  So beautiful.

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Questions From a Big Brother

I've known that Tate would be affected by Nash's death differently as time went on.  Although he couldn't articulate it, he grieved for his baby brother in the first weeks following his death.  It was in July 2008 that Tate became suddenly attached to his green blankie... the one he still carries around over two years later. 

Over the years, Tate talks about Nash a lot.  He knows he's in heaven.  He knows he's with God and Jesus.  He has asked when we'll get to see him again.  I know he doesn't understand all of this quite yet... I mean, do any of us, really?  So I've always given him the best answers that I could come up with.

Last night, as I was tucking him into bed, we were saying prayers.  We always thank God for taking care of Nash in heaven.  It was at this point that Tate began asking me questions.  "But where is heaven?"  "How far is it?" And the list continued.  He then asked me why some people have to go to heaven.  So I said, "People go to heaven when they die."  And then came the question that is so innocent and so simple, but hurt so much to hear him ask... "Did Nash die?" 

As much as we've talked about Nash and where he is, I don't know if I've ever said those words to him.  "Nash died."  Just typing them seems strange and uncomfortable.  It was so difficult for me to answer him.  He asked me how he died and I told him it was because his heart didn't work the way it was supposed to.   He seemed to understand this as best he could. 

As we talked, Tate got a little teary-eyed, saying he missed Nash.  So I just reassured him that someday we'd all be with him again in heaven.  But instead of comforting him, these words made him get more emotional because he said he "wanted to stay here at our house." 

It's just such a hard thing to explain to a four year old.  Most kids his age just accept heaven as a place where God is and leave it as that.  But Tate has true questions about it... the same ones that we all do.  And unfortunately, all  I can do is try my best to explain something that I don't even quite understand. 

I know Tate will continue to question his brother's death.  His grief may deepen before he actually begins to heal.  I just pray that I can help him along in his journey by both comforting him and honoring his baby brother.

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Switch-Hitting and Fried Grilled Cheese

We started off our weekend going to Tate's T-ball game on Saturday morning.  Like many of you know, Tate has loved baseball since he came out of the womb.  I'm sure I'm a little biased... But I happen to think he's pretty talented for a four year old.  He's been hitting overhand pitches since he was two and is now at the point where he not only hits the balls over our fence, but over the driveway and into the neighbors fences as well.  It's pretty impressive if you ask me.  Anyway, he's always been left-handed when he bats, but since we've had do revert back to the tee for his games, we've been practicing a little on that too. 

Tate has now figured out how to hit right handed as well.  He can hit off his tee no problem and is also able to hit overhand pitches this way too. 

So yesterday as the game was winding down, his coach reminded him it was his last at-bat and told him to hit a good one.  Tate said to him, "I'm gonna hit it right handed. I know how to do this."  He then proceeded to line drive it straight through the infield into center field.  What a little ball player.  I couldn't be prouder of him.

Check out this video...

Today, we headed to the Texas State Fair to walk around and of course try as much fried food as is humanly possible.  Between us, we split homemade potato chips, a footlong hotdog, fried Twinkies, fried cheese on a stick, funnel cake, and fried grilled cheese sandwiches.  Mmmmmmmm..... 

Tate loved trying out all the cars in the Auto Show.

Sweet Brothers.

A long day of walking, fresh air, and fried food makes you VERY sleepy...

Love to y'all,
Tracy