Mass Of Remembering

In the Catholic church, October 2nd marks the Memorial of the Guardian Angels, where we thank God for the angels that watch over us during our life on this earth. One of nearby churches hosts a special Mass on this day to honor childen that have died and to give thanks to the angels that helped them as they entered the heavenly gates. We attended this Mass last October and tonight my parents and I went to it again.

I honestly didn't want to go this year... I hated that I had a reason to be there. Like last year, it was very emotional, however, at the same time, it made me feel so close to my sweet Nash. I just sat there, thinking of him and imagining him in the arms of our Savior, where someday I pray we all will be. Being there brings on such strange feelings of opposition: it breaks my heart and gives me peace at the same time.

The hymns sung during our normal Masses always are what seem to get to me and tonight was no exception. The recessional hymn was one that was played at Nash's funeral ("I Want to Walk As a Child of the Light"). I can remember barely choking out the words on that horrible day. And then the processional hymn we sang tonight is one that our church sings quite often and I cannot, for the life of me, get the words to come out through my tears... It's beautiful and I always imagine Nash, in his last moments, following his guardian angel towards God - never looking back. I have to believe that he knew not to be afraid and was full of peace and comfort as he left this earth.

I'll leave you with the lyrics to my favorite verse and the refrain to "You Are Mine."

I will come to you in the silence,
I will lift you from all your fear.
You will hear my voice, I claim you as my choice,
Be still and know I am here.

Refrain:
Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me, I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

Love to y'all,
Tracy