Horses and Zebras

As many of you know, I attend a monthly support group called The Compassionate Friends for parents who have lost children. While I HATE that I have a reason to go, I always find myself looking forward to the meetings. I have found many friends and lots of comfort in the walls of that room. We cry and laugh and just talk about what we're feeling that particular day. I always leave with a renewed feeling of hope. And more often than not, I am truly affected by something that someone said - whether it be advice, or a story, or just their unending strength...

This past Tuesday was our October meeting. There was a woman there who shared with us a story that she had recently heard about people like us - people forced to live their lives without their child...

Basically, all people in the world can be considered "horses." We run in packs, each having our own small differences, but remain so similar to all those around us. Then when one of our children dies, all of a sudden we change. We are no longer "horses"; now we are "zebras." We kind of look the same and even try to act like a regular old horse, but we are forever changed. Other "horses" may try to treat us like fellow horses or try to still picture us like them, but to no avail. No matter how much time has gone by, a zebra can never go back to being a horse.

June 28, 2008 - The last picture of me as my "old" self.

For some reason that little comparison really resonated with me. I can try as I might to be the "old" me, but the circumstances of my life won't allow me to do that. I have to follow this new path and see what it has in store for me. I must learn to accept who I am now.

I am a zebra.

Love to y'all,
Tracy