Soon after Nash died I remember saying that if I could just dream of him things would be a little easier because I'd "be with him" every night. Since July I've only dreamt of him twice that I can actually remember. And yet every night as I fall asleep I pray that God will bring Nash to me in my dreams...
Last night I dreamt of Nash. I don't remember much except that Brad, my mom and I were taking turns holding him. In the dream we knew that we only had a certain number of days left with him. We knew he'd be leaving soon. I remember I just kept staring at him and looking at him, trying to remember every part of him. I kept touching the back of his neck and playing with his hair. It wasn't really a sad dream - we were all so happy to be holding him. It's almost like how I imagine it would be if he came back for just a minute or two... very peaceful and quiet. Just holding him tightly and staring at his precious face - taking it all in.
I had mixed emotions when I woke up. I was so happy to have seen Nash and yet so sad that the dream had to end. This may have been why my emotions got the better of me many times today - especially this morning. I feel so thankful that I had this dream last night. And it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time... exactly one year ago today Nash was baptized... I have to believe that there's more to it than a simple coincidence.
People often ask what they can do for us and for me. I answer them by asking for prayers for comfort and peace. But maybe I could add another one to that list... pray for more dreams to come. Pray that I go to sleep at night and get to have a date with my little boy.
Sweet Dreams Y'all,
Tracy
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Hi Tracy,
You don't know me but I am a friend of Abby Harris's and I know your story through her. I check your blog from time to time, and your incredible faith and strength really inspire me. I pray for you, and now I will also pray that the Lord would bless you with dreams of your sweet Nash.
My husband has been in the hospital for the past three weeks after a life-threatening accident. He is going to be okay eventually, and yet this experience has been the hardest thing in my life. I keep thinking of you and how strong your faith in the Lord has remained. I can only pray that I'd have been as strong as you had I lost my husband.
I want you to know that God is using your story, probably in ways you aren't aware of to reach people you don't know. I know that this doesn't at all justify the loss of baby Nash's life. But I hope it can bring you some comfort to know that your life is being used by God.
Bless you and your family!
Love,
Kate Wallace
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