The Great Divide

These past few weeks have been busier than previous years with Christmas party after Christmas party. Brad and I both are blessed to have such great friends, who like to get together to celebrate. And we're so lucky to have my parents here to help us out by watching Tate so that we can go to these parties without spending all our money on babysitting.

But, after going to four parties in the past two weeks, I've come to be able to predict how they will go... For the last seventeen and half months I'm learning how to anticipate and answer the small-talk questions that come up when first meeting new couples. It usually goes something like this...

We get introduced to a new couple within minutes of entering the door of a party. After exchanging handshakes and names, the questions begin.

"Do you have kids?"
"Yes."
"How many?"
"This will be our third."
"Are they boys or girls?"
"Two boys."
(This is where I begin praying that we can move on to another topic because, inevitably, I know what the next question will be."
"How old are they?"
Ummmmm...

And that's where the awkwardness begins. How do you tell someone casually amidst the holiday music and smells of Christmas cookies that one of your children has died?

Brad and I have had this conversation with new acquaintances more than I care to remember this December. I find myself on edge as I walk through the door, wondering not if it will come up, but when. I don't fault anyone for asking us. In fact, it's just common courtesy to ask about someone else's children. It's just that for us, it's not an easy conversation to have. And then those poor people that asked what they thought was an innocent question, feel horrible for the rest of the night.

So my point here is that I've found that our lives of full of two types of people: those who "know" about Nash and those that "don't." It's so comforting for me to walk into a party and know that all the people in attendance already know what happened. I feel so much more peace and never feel on edge while we're there. I can actually enjoy myself.

I'm so grateful for all the friends Brad and I have that obviously know our story, but also treat us just like they always have. Y'all make me feel as "normal" as I ever will and being in the same place as you, is a safe place for me. Thank you all for being part of our "safe place."

Love to y'all,
Tracy