Prayers

With all the tragedy and evil that occurred two days ago, I felt compelled to take a moment to try to put into words all the emotions that are, undoubtedly, running through all of our veins.  December 14, 2012.  A day that will remain with each of us in our own way.  The day many Americans came to grips with the harshest of realities of the world in which we live.  The day that heaven received 20 beautiful angels, guided by their brave and loving teachers.

Of course, no words can say what we all feel deep inside.  The grief, the fear, the anger, the empathy, the heartbreak.  The community of Newtown, Connecticut, has now experienced every parents' worst and most unimaginable fear. We can all have our opinions as to what needs to happen now with laws, regulations, stricter this or that.  But right now is not the time or the place for that.  Right now, we need to all be praying for the families that, as we sit down to dinner tonight, are planning memorials for their babies.  

In the midst of this tragedy, my mind goes to my own baby, who left this world much, much too early.  I see the pictures of these six and seven year olds and I know how the parents will stare at those tiny faces, trying to remember every detail... the wrinkles on their fingers, the crease of their smile, the sparkle in their eyes.  I have shed so many tears as I think of the path that each of these families is now on.  I wish I could tell each of them that it'll be alright.  But I can't.  Because it won't.  

One thing that I can't seem to get out of my head is that for many, many hours - I don't know exactly how many (I stopped watching because I couldn't bare hearing it) - the children's bodies had to remain in the school.  I understand it was a crime scene and protocol had to be followed.  In fact, from what I could see, the investigators handled the past few days heroically and with so much grace.  But knowing that each of those babies was inside that big school, tears at my heart.  This fact makes me feel so incredibly grateful that I had moments with Nash after he passed.  I was able to hold him and talk to him and touch him, telling him all the things I wished I could have said before he left.  I got that much... and these parents did not.  I know the pain of being told your child didn't make it.  I know that pain of not being there when they took their last breath.  But I don't know the ache of not being able to see my baby, looking peaceful and beautiful, like a sleeping angel.  I can't imagine not being given those last moments.  

Like the rest of our nation, I will be praying for everyone involved in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.  First and foremost, for the families that lost loved ones... the mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, spouses, and children.  I pray that they will be given the strength to just breathe, to put one foot in front of the other.  I pray for the surviving children and faculty in the school that day - that the images and sounds they heard will stop replaying in their minds, that they will find things to smile about again.  I pray for the police, first responders, firefighters, doctors, nurses, investigators, and everyone else that has seen one of the most horrific sights one could imagine. I pray that they accept and receive the help and counseling that has been offered to them.  And I pray for the city of Newtown - that they stay strong, stay united, stay prayful, and always, always, remember the faces of the teachers and children that once graced their streets, their parks, their schools.  

God Bless,
Tracy