Thankful For Pink

Brad's sister, Jill, is due in September with her third child. You may remember she already has two little boys, Cade and Colton. Neither Jill nor I have found out the genders of any of our children until this one. But she found out a couple days ago that this little one is a GIRL!!!

Since 2006, Brad's mom has heard the same thing FIVE times:
"It's a BOY!" (Tate - 2006)
"It's a BOY" (Cade - 2007)
"It's a BOY!" (Nash - 2008)
"It's a BOY!" (Colton - 2009)
"It's a BOY!" (Knox- 2010)

Well she's FINALLY gonna get her little girl! Just like everyone else in the family, I'm happy to hear the news... But the more I think about it, the more I realize just how much I wanted this baby to be a girl.

When Nash died, Jill was pregnant with Colton and no one knew he was a boy until he was born. Ever since then, it's a gut-wrenching feeling watching her two boys grow up together. I adore both of them. In fact, I'm probably the proudest Aunt there is, but my heart ached every time I saw them together - seeing what I was missing out on. Now that Knox is here, I am so thankful to watch he and Tate together. But the absence of Nash is still so close to the surface. I often find myself wondering how different it would be with all three of them here.

Once we found out that Jill was pregnant again, I found myself worried that if it were another boy, I'd again have a constant reminder of what my life should be. Every time we'd be together, I'd have to be reminded of what my family was missing out on. So, when Jill told me it was a girl, I honestly think I let out a breath of relief. She will have her two boys and their little sister. And I have three boys. It's different. I'm so thankful for that.

So here's to a healthy, beautiful baby girl! My first niece... I can't wait to meet you!!!

Love to y'all,
Tracy