About the Author

I am SO super excited to announce that the cover of Home Runs in Heaven is being designed at the publishers AS WE SPEAK TYPE.  I should get a proof by early next week at the latest.  I'm so stinkin' pumped!!!

One dilemma...

The. Back. Cover.

While talking to my consultant, she told me I'll need a summary of my book and a short "Author Bio."  Sounds simple enough, right?  That's what I thought too.  Boy, was I wrong.  I think I'm good on the summary, but the bio?  Not so much.  I've been searching online and looking through my kids' books to try to get an idea of what to do.  What do I include? What do I NOT include? How do I make it original and yet not too cheesy?  And that's when I realized this is much harder than I thought.

The thing that makes this difficult is that everything I read says to say why you're an "expert" on what you're writing about.  HUH?  Expert?  Me?  On heaven, or grief, or loss?  Are you kidding me?  I'm as clueless as the next guy. 

The second problem is that I need to somehow bridge this "expert" part with the "fluffy" part of the bio - like where we live, my family, and my interests/hobbies.  I'm not sure how exactly to do this either. 

Hmmmmm....  Here's what I have at this point...

Tracy Sievers is a wife, mother, and elementary school teacher with a knack for telling it like it is.  She’s loved writing since she was a little girl, and finally put her pen to paper in her first children’s book, Home Runs in Heaven.  In 2008, Tracy lost her infant son to an undiagnosed heart defect and has spent much of her time since then searching for ways to help other families dealing with loss and grief.  Tracy, her husband, and their three remaining children live in Plano, Texas.  She enjoys reading, writing her blog, traveling, and of course, watching her children on the baseball diamond.

If y'all have ANY ideas or thoughts or criticisms, PLEASE let me know!!! 

Oh, one more thing: I'm supposed to include a picture of myself to put on the back cover as well.  That's almost laughable!  I don't have ANY pics of me by myself and I'm pretty sure they aren't talking about taking a quick little selfie.  Ahhhhh!!!  Wish me luck!

Love to y'all,
Tracy

To the Class of 2014

Tis the season for graduation... whether it be preschool, fifth grade, high school, or college, graduation is upon us.  Sooo... I thought it fitting to dedicate a post to these kiddos.

I must say that this time of year always fills me with a sense of hope.  Being a teacher and a mom, I feel like I have a pretty well-rounded perspective on the graduation thing.  As the mama, you're bursting with pride.  You cannot believe that your baby can now fill in the blank (read, write, pass the STAAR test, go to college, etc.).  And as you watch them take that step from one chapter to the next, your heartstrings get tugged pretty stinkin' hard.  And you think to yourself, "How can they be growing up so fast?"  But, in the end, you're just so proud.  So proud of who they are and who they are becoming.

On the other hand... As a teacher, you can finally breathe a sigh of relief, knowing you did your job and you did it well.  You know that the kids that you were blessed with that year KNOW how much you love them and how much you want for them.  They are well-prepared for their upcoming journey, and they know who to call on if they get lost on their way.  Like your own children, you are so proud of who your students are and who are they are becoming.

Personally speaking, this is a bittersweet end of the school year for me.  I've been a teacher for 12 years (five teaching 1st grade and seven as the Gifted and Talented teacher).  In fact, the first graders I taught in my very first year of teaching are getting ready to graduate.  WOW!!!  Time has flown.  But... next year, like my students, I'm beginning a new chapter as well: I'm going back into the classroom to be a fifth grade teacher.  I'm so super duper excited about it, and maybe just a little bit overwhelmed too.  I'm very comfortable in my current position, but I think I'm in need of something different; a challenge.  So, here we go.

One of my favorite parts of my current job is that I get to teach all grade levels (K-5), but for a long time now, it seems like fifth is always the grade I click with the best.  When this school year started, I wasn't thinking about changing positions for next year.  And to be honest, the group of fifth graders I teach in the GT program are really the ones responsible for my change of heart.  I've grown to enjoy their company so much and look forward to my time with them.  I love the arguments debates we have; I love the questions they ask; I love the idea of being the last teacher to help secure their roots before letting them soar off to middle school.  I'm truly blessed to be given this opportunity.

To all my students (graduating seniors, current kiddos, and everyone in between)...
     What a 12 years it's been!  Thank you for letting me learn right along beside you each and everyday.  Please know that no matter when it was that you and I shared a classroom, you left little imprints on my heart... enough memories to fill the pages of any book. 
     And especially to those of you starting a new chapter of your own: Turn those butterflies in your tummy into the desire and dedication you'll need to rise to the top.  I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. 
     I'm so proud to have been but just a tiny part in all of your young lives.  Thank you for being such a large part of mine.

Love to y'all,
Mrs. Sievers

Nine Times

I found out I was pregnant with Tate in November of 2005, so when May rolled around that following year, Brad and my parents got me some small gifts to commemorate my very first Mother's Day. Yesterday, after a little finger counting, I found that this year marks nine years that I've gotten to celebrate this day as a mom. 

Being both a teacher and a mom, you would think that I do my fair share of "teaching" my kids - not just "school" stuff, but "life" stuff.  However, I find more often than not, it's them that teach me time and time again... And I'm a much better person, woman, teacher, friend, daughter, and wife because of them. 

Top NINE Things I've Learned From Tatertot

9. Sometimes dirty little boys smell really stinkin' good.

8. A kind heart and a sweet smile go a long way.

7. Diamonds really ARE a girl's best friend... As long as they're BASEBALL diamonds.

6. Toothless grins are priceless.

5. Shorts can be worn despite what the temperature says.

4. Big siblings are the best teachers.

3. If your name is Tate, you'll be referred to as "Tater" by all who know you... friends, parents, grandparents, coaches, etc. whether you like it or not.

2. Love at first sight really does exist.

1. Even the smallest of people can be your biggest source of STRENGTH. 

Top NINE Things I've Learned From Baby Nash

9. It doesn't take long for a little boy to wrap himself up in your heart.
8. Its okay to hold a sleeping baby just because you don't want to put him down.
7. Yellow balloons go to Heaven.
6. The love of a mother transcends all space and time.
5. It's important to take lots of pictures.
4. Being strong doesn't mean you can't break down.
3. The bond between siblings is FOREVER.
2. Slow down and take notice.
1. Sometimes FAITH is the only thing left to hold onto.

Top NINE Things I've Learned From Knoxie

9. Sleeping in is over-rated.
8. Fruit snacks are its own food group.
7. Tan lines are super cute on little bodies.
6. There's nothing that a mama's kiss can't cure.
5. Hearing the words, "I love you," NEVER gets old.
4. Everything is better if it's green.
3. It is perfectly acceptable to wear underwear instead of clothing.
2. Tags are not our friends.
1. There can be HOPE after a storm.

Top NINE Things I've Learned From Brady Girl

9. Little girls can be just as rough and tough as their brothers.
8. Farting is awesome.
7. Little voices singing are the best.
6. Everyone should wear a crown to bed.
5. Plastic surgeons rock! (Four babies in five years leaves a lot to be desired).
4. Blue eyes are beautiful.
3. Dispicable Me 2 is freakin' funny no matter how many times you watch it.
2. Cuteness can move mountains.
1. God gives us exactly who we need...  The most perfect fit to our families... And in this, we find our PEACE.

 

How in the world did I get this blessed?  

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Sneak Peek

Many of you have been asking about the progress of my book.  So here's the latest...

My brother is almost done inking all of the pages - this is HUGE!  He actually sent me a video (that I couldn't get uploaded here) that showed me how he's doing it...  Think olden days... Quill and ink.  That's pretty much what he does.  Dips the pen in the ink, gets off any excess, draws, and cleans with water.  And repeat.  And repeat.  And repeat.  You get the point. 

I was already a fan of his work before and now that I see exactly how much time and effort this is taking, I'm an even bigger one!  Incredible.  Here's just a little peek into what he's been up to.  Click the image for a clearer look...

 Cover.

 A huge pile of candy... after all, you can eat as much as you want in heaven and NEVER have to worry about cavities!

 Did you know that you can go to the zoo and actually RIDE the giraffes?!

And... just imagine the amusement parks!

 

Did y'all notice the little balloons hidden in each page?  This is our way of sprinkling our Baby Nash throughout the entire book - I love the idea so much...  The next step will be for Trent's wife, Kara, to water color over all of these.  I'm so stinkin' pumped about how close we're getting.  I PROMISE to keep everyone in the loop about how it's going and where we are in the process.  After all, I wouldn't be at this point if it weren't for you!

 

So much love to y'all,

Tracy

Guest Blogger - Alexa

I "met" Alexa soon after my Pubslush campaign ended.  She is a fellow grieving mom and has written her own book on the subject.  She has some great perspectives so I thought I'd share her with y'all. 

Alexa Bigwarfe is the mother of four beautiful children, three on earth and one in Heaven.  She blogs as "Kat Biggie" at “No Holding Back” which was started primarily as an outlet for her grief after the loss of one of her twin daughters. Alexa’s goal is to bring more awareness to Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) and provide hope to other grieving mothers. Her blog also chronicles her adventures as a stay at home mom.  Alexa is a wife, mother, writer, advocate, and sometimes political activist. She recently compiled and edited a book for grieving mothers entitled Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother. 

Here's what she has to say...

For most mothers, Mother's Day is a day to be spoiled by their children (and maybe husbands.) It's a day we look forward to. A day that we, the mother, get that we are acknowledged for everything that we do as moms. And mothers should be honored. All mothers.

For many mothers, Mother's day is a source of pain. A constant reminder of what is no longer here, or what will never be.

It's a very difficult day for grieving mothers. I know, because I am one of them.

“A mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love that she holds in her heart.” ~Franchesca Cox

A few years ago, CarlyMarie of Project Heal began International Bereaved Mother's Day.  This day for mother's to talk about the true meaning of Mother's Day, and celebrate our children, both with us and not. Do you know why Mother's Day was begun?

Anna Jarvis officially founded the traditional Mother’s Day to honour her mother Ann who experienced the death of 7 of her children and somehow through the years it has turned into a commercialized mess that corporate companies make millions of dollars from, but the worst thing is that bereaved mothers are completely forgotten. ~CarlyMarie

International Bereaved Mother's Day is now the Sunday preceding Mother's Day. So this year it is May 5th.

Inspired by the actions of CarlyMarie and so many others who make it their mission to bring light to grieving parents, I wanted to do something as well. Last October, in time for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day on October 15th, a group of bereaved parents and I published our book Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother. It is our stories and our best advice and tips on surviving the loss of a pregnancy, infant, or older child.

Fueled by the positive feedback and the positive impact it was having on other parents who have suffered the death of a child, we went one step further and created a nonprofit, Sunshine After the Storm, Inc, to raise funds to donate the books to hospitals, bereavement groups, and organizations that support bereaved parents.           
                                        
As Mother's Day approaches, I wanted to do something special. So we decided to start a special "Mother's Day Campaign." The goal is simple: raise money to donate as many books as we can to hospitals and bereavement groups for Mother's Day, and use a portion of the funds to make a special Mother's Day contribution to the organizations that support bereaved parents, infant death, pregnancy loss, and research for children's health issues.
I also reached out to different people, including some well-known authors on baby and child loss, such as Sherokee Ilse and Teske Drake; to CarlyMarie (who creates the most beautiful artwork for bereaved parents on her Shore of Remembrance) and many others. I asked for donated items and services so that we could offer a wonderful incentive for those who decide to find it in their heart to make a donation. The response was amazing, and on May 4th, International Bereaved Mother's Day, we will have a giveaway of 15 incredible items. And more may be added!

We just ask for one thing. A very small donation. $5 (or more if you'd like!) It costs us about $8 to donate each book. One donation will get you entered for a chance to win all of these amazing prizes!

But more importantly, you will know that you have directly impacted the life of a mother who is hurting on Mother's Day.

Check it out here...  http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/share-code/MzAwMGU5ZjZjMDEyNDc3OTU3MTdkODE2ZDVmYTkwOjY=/

Blog address: http://www.katbiggie.com and http://sunshineafterstorm.us

She can also be followed on Facebook (www.facebook.com/NoHoldingBack1212) and Twitter (@katbiggie)

 

 

Dear Emily...

Yesterday I got an email from one of my sister-in-laws.  I checked with her to make sure she doesn't mind me sharing some of her thoughts here with y'all...

Emily is married to Brad's little brother, Steven.  She's a first time mom to Emmett - the newest member of the Sievers family.  He's just about 18 months old and seriously the cutest little guy!  Big beautiful brown eyes.  Sigh...  Anyway, Em had a terrifying dream the other night that something bad happened to Emmett and that she was there, helpless, watching him fade away.  And then in the blink of an eye, he was just gone.  She confided in me that she is dealing with horrible worry and fear that something... anything... could happen to her precious baby. It's paralyzing to think about.  Now that she's a mom, she has a better understanding of my pain, and the worry I have about my other three kids.  So she asked me, "How do you do it?" 

I've been trying to think of how I can possibly write her back in a way that will ease her mind and tend to her fears.  How can I tell her, "Don't worry, Em.  Nothing bad will ever happen to your family." 

I can't. 

I wish I could, but I can't. 

So I'll try this instead...

Dear Emily,

Of all the babies born in this world, God chose to give Emmett to you and Steven.  He knew that Emmett was the exact little guy that you needed.  He knew of the incomprehensible joy that your little boy would give you, beginning with his very first breath.  He knew that you would be the perfect mama to His most perfect gift. 

Every mommy worries over their child.  It's part of the job description... kind of.  I think it's natural and normal and completely acceptable.  To a certain degree.  I was a "worrier" long before I had kids.  Sometimes, the worry would grip hold of me so tightly that I thought it would never let go.  And as you can imagine, when Nash died, the worry over my other kids began to escalate because I saw the devastation that came with losing a child.

Worry is a funny thing.  Sometimes it seemed that maybe if I worried about every possible thing imaginable, it wouldn't hurt so badly if that "thing" actually happened.  Like, if I'd already thought of that happening, then I could say, "Well, I'm okay, because I knew that was a possibility."  Yeah, right - we all know that's not quite how it works.  No matter how many things we worry about, there's still a million more things that we never even thought of that could go wrong.  We all know that worrying doesn't help anything; it doesn't stop things from happening.  We also know that we do not have control over things like we wish we did.  And yet, we still worry. 

So back to your question, Em.  How do I overcome my worrisome ways? 

I work at it.  Every single second.  It's a CONSTANT battle. 

When I feel the worry start to seep in, and my thoughts begin to unravel, I do a couple of things.  First, I pray.  I pray that God will pick me up and take the negative and terrible thoughts my brain is creating and throw them away.  I literally imagine His hands around me, moving me away from my own worry.  I tell myself that God doesn't want us to worry...

Phil 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

1 Peter 5:6-8 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

All this being said, I must admit, however, I struggle with this sometimes.  Completely trusting God is VERY hard for me.  I know in my head that we are supposed to trust in God and all He does.  But at times, I feel scared to do that because I feel like I'm almost giving "permission" for something bad to happen.  It's like I'm saying, "I know God will get me through no matter what happens, so it's no biggie if something does."  I know this isn't how things work, but it's still extremely difficult for me.  So I'm up for suggestions on how to get my mind wrapped around this. 

Besides praying, I also talk to myself logically. I remind myself that worrying does NOTHING for me.  Back in college, I saw a quote that resonated with me even then.  Now it means much more.  I still remember where I was when I saw it on an outdated calendar on a shelf in someone's office. And from then on, this is what I think of when my worry takes over.  It read, "Worrying doesn't take the bad out of tomorrow, it takes the good out of today."  Think about it. 

And last but not least, if I'm totally honest, sometimes, I just have to force my mind into thinking about something else... maybe read a book or watch a totally inappropriate reality show.  Anything to just slow the worry's momentum before it gets out of hand. 

So, Emily, I'm not sure I was really much help to you.  I can't take away your worry... I really wish I could.  Just know that you worry because you're a mom to a very special little boy.  You worry because the love you have for Emmett isn't comparable to anything else you've ever experienced and you NEVER want that to end.  So... enjoy all the moments you have with him - both the big ones and the little ones.  Don't let worry creep in to ruin all the seconds you have together. 

Love to you and my sweet little Emmett.
Tracy

Ten Days Away!

Okay, Friends... In ten short days, Team Heart's Content will be lacing up our tennies and heading to our sixth March For Babies in Dallas at White Rock Lake!!!  This year, it's really snuck up on me.  I think my mind has been overwhelmed by preparations with my book, and I just felt like I had time before I needed to put the March on my radar. 

Boy, was I wrong!!!

April 12th is gearing up to be really special.  In years past, we've had pretty much the same group of people walk with us the morning of the March.  But this year is going to be a good mix of old and new - about 25-30 people altogether.  Some of them are families that have walked beside us since our journey began - holding us up, as we stumble along.  It makes me smile to think that these are the people that actually held our little boy, fed our little boy, and breathed the same air as him.  In addition, we also have some new families that will be walking with us for the first time.  I LOVE THIS.  At some point, these friends found out about Nash and didn't shy away.  They didn't turn their backs, or brush us aside because our story made them uncomfortable.  They embraced us.  They embraced him.  And I am grateful for that. 

As I walk each year, seeing Nash's name on the shirts of my friends and family tugs at my heart.  I am overwhelmed by how much love these people have for us... all SIX of us. 

Love to y'all,
Tracy