Latest Baby News

Now that we've gone from the baby's due date being months away to weeks away, I figured I should really update y'all so that you know what's going on...

Quick run-down:

- 37 1/2 weeks as of today

- Sono 1 1/2 weeks ago showed baby being about 6 pounds 9 ounces at that point

- Belly is measuring "normal"

- If I had to guess based on how I feel,  I'd think I was dilated to about a 30... however, I was a 1/2 cm as of Wednesday (sorry if that's TMI)

- My hands are now swollen enough that I can't wear any of my rings anymore... this happened when I was in my last month with Tate but neither Nash or Knox

- Scheduled an induction for one day before my due date... so if little one isn't here by October 17th, that'll be the day!!!

- Not really sleeping too well (which is to be expected)

- Much more uncomfortable than I've ever been in the past

- Tate says not only does he want the baby to be a girl, but he wants it to have brown hair... uh, not sure that we can actually put in an "order" at this point

- I go back and forth on whether I think it's a boy or a girl

- Funny fact: In general, most people who know me are convinced this baby is a girl.  But any stranger that I encounter that ventures a guess, undoubtedly says it's a boy.  (And yes, strangers give their opinions all the time).

- Speaking of strangers, the same "bagger" at our grocery store that said that Knox was going to be a boy told me last week that this one was also going to be a boy.  

I think that about sums it up.  I'm sooo ready to meet this baby of ours.  I'll keep you posted.

Love to y'all,

Tracy 

Tate's New Friend

Yesterday Tate "introduced" me to his new "friend," Sydney.  He says that Sydney is a little girl at school who is in one of the other Pre-K classes.  Regardless, Tate has been talking about her (or to her) since last night.  All I know is that according to him, he really likes her because she wears "cool black boots."  And "she shakes her booty at him when he sees her in the hall at school."  He claims she's "really cute" when she does that.  Ahem...

Most nights after bath, he usually prefers to head to bed in a pair of tighty-whities, but last night he informed me that he needed to wear pajamas because Sydney "always laughs if he only wears underwear to bed."  Okay...

During the morning, Tate didn't really mention Sydney at all and I was thinking maybe he'd gotten over her.  But this afternoon he told me that he couldn't believe that she was "still sleeping!!!"  I told him that it was after 1:00, so she must be a lazy bum... And like a good little boy, he agreed with his mama.  

I tell ya... I knew that Tate could be pretty goofy, but this whole "Sydney Situation" has really thrown me off.  I wonder if he'll need pajamas again tonight...

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Back to the Diamond

Last Saturday, Tate had his first game with his new, fall team, the Durham Bulls. A lot of the same kids from last season are playing together again, along with a couple of new ones. The biggest change is that because the league didn't have enough 5 year old teams signed up to play t-ball, they bumped the teams they did have up to the 6 year old "modified" coach's pitch league.

In this league, the players get four chances to hit off a pitch from their coach. Then they get to use the tee. That, in itself, isn't terrible. Tate's been hitting off of Brad for years now. But the biggest difference is that they have an umpire, who counts outs. So not everyone gets to bat each inning. And if you get called out, you go back to your dugout.

But I have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised that our team is handling the changes pretty well. It's forcing them to understand the game a little better and realize that they need to try their best. Tate is LOVING it - no surprise there. He wakes up and puts his uniform on first thing each Saturday morning. I'm so proud of his devotion and "heart" each and every game. He takes it seriously, but also has so much fun with his friends. He's the first to cheer them on for their good plays - which is really sweet to witness.

Yesterday, Tate had a fantastic game. He hit off the pitch all three times he was up to bat and hustled around the bases each time. He played second base, shortstop, and catcher (I think he just really wanted to try on the gear) and was able to get two kids from the other team out in the first and second innings. He truly is quite the little ball player.

Second at bat - hard hit grounder up the first baseline

Shortstop

The view from a catcher

Ready and waiting

All smiles after a great game!

Watching his big brother

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Thinking Back

In the support group that I attend for bereaved parents, last year I met a woman named Joanne.  Tomorrow she will be working through the first anniversary of her son, Ryan's death.  He was a month away from turning four years old, when his little body had had enough of the cancer that had pained him since before he was two. 

Knowing what tomorrow will bring for her makes me cringe.  Thinking back to when we had to get through Nash's first anniversary is still really hard for me.  That day just brings so many horrible memories to the forefront of one's mind.  For me, I relive the entire day.  It's like I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing at every second of that long July day.  And the pain is so intense and raw again.  Everything comes back full force whether you want it to or not. 

I hate that Joanne and her family will be doing that tomorrow.  In fact, if she's like me, it may have already started tonight.  Thinking back to that last time your life was really "whole." 

Without going into too much detail for the sake of Joanne's privacy, she was with Ryan as he left this Earth for Heaven.  And to be totally honest, I am jealous that she was able to do that for her son.  One of the things I struggle with the most is that I wasn't with Nash when he died.  I was on my way to him, going as fast as I could, praying and praying that God would keep him here until I got there.  Somewhere along the way, I knew that Nash wasn't going to make it.  But I remember asking God over and over again to just let me be with him one last time.  Let me tell him good-bye. 

Three years later, I have accepted that I wasn't there.  But I still don't understand why.  I don't understand why I didn't get to hold him and comfort him like a mommy should... at a time that he needed me the most.  I know that having the memory of watching your baby die must be heart-wrenching to say the least.  But imagining Nash with a team of doctors around him, not understanding why he felt the way he did, not understanding why they were hurting him, and not understanding why his mommy wasn't there for him truly makes my heart ache.  I will always regret that I didn't make it in time.  To kiss those sweet lips, to hold his tiny hand, to take away his fear, and to tell him that he is so loved, but that it's okay if he needed to go.  As hard as that would have been, I'd do anything to get that moment with him.

I'm not sure why all this is pouring out of me tonight.  I think Joanne has been on my mind all day.  And knowing that she was with Ryan when he died makes me think of my own experience.  I pray that she is finding some peace in knowing that her little boy had no doubt in his mind how much his mommy loved him.  I pray that she and her family get through tomorrow with more laughs than tears.  

Love to y'all,
Tracy 

The last picture that Nash and I took together

June 25, 2008

Bunk Beds for Everyone!

A couple weeks ago, my mom texted me at school and said that Knox had crawled out of his crib at her house during naptime.  He was only 18 months old and his crib was already at the lowest setting.  So that night, Brad rigged our crib to go even lower than it's supposed to so as to prevent our little man from escaping during the night.  He seemed content and safe (when he stood up, the side of the crib went all the way past his chest - almost to his chin).  Phew!.... or so we thought.

On Friday morning, I got another text from my mom saying that when she went to get Knox out of his crib at our house, he was standing at the door to his bedroom.  Are you serious?!  He's now 19 months old and waaaaay too young to try to get him to sleep in a "big boy's bed."  I was worried about it all day.  

Brad and I bought a new bedroom set a couple weeks ago that Tate has now moved into.  So, Tate's old furniture was already all set up for Knox.  But again, he's waaaay to little!  We definitely had a dilemma on our hands: to leave him in his crib was asking for a broken arm or stitches or who knows what.  But then again, I'm already exhausted.  Do I really want to spend these last seven weeks before the baby gets here battling my one year old every night about staying in a big boy bed?  In addition, if we do somehow figure out a way to keep him in his crib, we're going to need it for the baby shortly after it arrives anyway.  And if that happens, do I really want to be trying to get Knox to sleep in his big bed while also caring for a newborn?  UGH.  What's a mom to do?

Three words, my friends... SUCK IT UP.  

Friday night, I took Knox into his "new" room and tried to explain that now he's a big boy and he's going to sleep in his big boy bed from now on.  He whimpered a little and kept pointing across the gameroom to his old room.  When I first put him in the bed, he cried and stood right up.  I went back in a minute later and laid him back down, gave him a kiss, and walked out again.  This time, he cried for a couple seconds and was quiet.  I checked on him 30 minutes later, and to my surprise, he was out like a light.  WHOOOHOOOO!!!!  

I was so nervous all night, waiting for him to either show up in my room or hear a big crash upstairs.  At 4:30, he yelled out and I went in and found his binkie for him.  He laid right back down and slept till 7:15.  Then on Saturday, he took a two hour nap in his bed no problem.  Saturday night he woke up twice, looking for his binkie and then went back to sleep till about 8.  Naptime yesterday was another total success.  And last night I put him to bed at 8:15 and I didn't hear a peep until a little before 8 this morning.  What a little champ!  

Big bed... little boy.

Naptime

Tate's New Furniture
 

Now I will say that I'm cautiously optimistic about all this.  I realize that maybe this is the honeymoon period.  Maybe he'll soon decide that he's going to make this much harder on his mama.  But for right now, I'm totally blown away by how easy this transition has been.  Let's just pray it stays this way!

Love to y'all,

Tracy