Three Years Ago Today

June 27th, 2008... This day brings back so many memories for me.  In a few short days, we will be celebrating Nash's life as we commemorate the anniversary of his death. I've written in detail about all that happened back in June of 2009 I think, so if you want to know the whole story, feel free to look at those posts. 

Today is the day that marks the last time I saw my little boy alive.  We were dropping Tate and Nash off with Brad's parents for a week and then Brad and I were planning on coming up a few days later.  So even though Nash died on July 1st, June 27th is a tough day for me. 

I cannot believe that it's been THREE years.  Three years.  Some things that happened that day I remember like it happened yesterday and others are so blurry.  I remember what he was wearing... I remember where we were... I remember handing him and Tate off to their grandma.  But the rest is pretty unclear.  The one thing I know for sure is that when I was telling Nash good-bye that day, I never dreamed it would be for good... I never dreamed that I'd never see those blues eyes look up at me again. 

As I write this today, our family is up in Storm Lake, Iowa, getting ready to rally around each other as we remember our little boy this Friday.  I'm sitting at the table in my mother-in-law's house, looking out over the lake... towards the cemetary where Nash was laid to rest.  It brings me great comfort to be here - to be "close to him."  I'm going to head over to the cemetery soon - which is something I both love and hate at the same time.  But I need to go... I need to be there for him. 

I'll try to write later in the week... In the mean time, please pray for some healing this week for my family.  This path is more difficult than I ever imagined and this is the time of year that is the hardest.  Thank you in advance for all the prayers being said on our behalf.

Love to y'all,
Tracy

A Great Season

Tate's T-ball season has finally come to an end.  If you ask him, he'll tell you his team went undefeated (even though they don't keep score for another couple years or so).  T-ball has been the highlight of Tate's week for months now and he's pretty disappointed that it's coming to an end.  As much as I LOVE watching my little slugger, I have to admit, I'm glad that braving the Texas heat to cheer on his team is over just in time for the brutal summer to begin... yesterday and today's high temps have been around 104 degrees.  UGH.

I couldn't be prouder of the ballplayer Tate has become.  At only four years old, he not only understands the game, but gives it 100% effort each and every time he's out there playing.  He's the first one on the field when his team isn't batting and the first one in the dugout when they're up.  He watches the game while he's sitting on the bench waiting to bat and cheers on his teammates for their efforts.   His love of the game is obvious to ANYONE who watches him.  The other parents on the team are constantly commenting on his talent and pure love of baseball.  I sure do love my little lefty!

Check out that form!

Line drive up the middle.

Focused and ready

Getting grounders

That smile says it all!!!

Trying to imitate his big brother

Tate's #1 Fan

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Pediatric Heart Specialists

Today, Brad and I headed to a hospital in north Dallas, where we had baby #4's heart checked by a pediatric cardiologist.  This is the same practice that Tate and Knox have been checked by over the past few years.  They are a fantastic group of doctors, who make sure to take their time to answer any and all of our questions. 

To cut to the chase, everything looked good at this point with our baby's heart.  Dr. Tracy Laird did a fetal echocardiogram, which took about 25 minutes.  It's basically an in-depth sonogram of just the baby's heart.  She took lots of measurements and examined every tiny part she could see.  Of course, this is a pretty difficult task at this stage since I am only about 22 weeks along and the baby's heart is still so, so tiny.  She suggested that just like with Knox, we come back when this little one is about 8 weeks old to have his/her heart checked again for some more peace of mind.  

This was a day I've been waiting for for a long time and I'm very relieved to have it over with.  It feels like one more hurdle has now been jumped over... and it was a big one to say the least. 

I feel grateful that our little baby is growing and developing just like it should.  I pray that it just continues to stay strong and safe in my belly until October when we will all welcome him/her with open arms and teary eyes.

Love to y'all,

Tracy

Summer Days

As of Tuesday, our summer has officially started!  School is out and we're ready for some sun and fun for the next few months.  This week, we don't have a lot planned - we've just been doing a few errands each morning to get out of the house a little bit before it gets too hot in the afternoons.

Today, our mission was to find some pool toys, so we ventured off to Walmart and then over to a sporting goods store for the stuff we couldn't find at Walmart.  We ended up picking up a little more than we had set out to - some pool balls, an inner tube, a pool noodle, a kickboard, a second life jacket for Knox (so we can keep one at our place and one at my mom's), some goggles, a velcro ball with little velcro mitts to play catch in the water with, a couple cans of spray-on sunscreen, some new beach towels, and a new bumblebee floatie for Knox.  I think I forgot how much more money we spend in the summers when I'm home.  Oops!  It's all for a good cause though, right?!

Love to y'all,
Tracy