Christmas in Iowa... and Texas

We're finally back home after our "vacation" to Iowa.  Everyone seems pretty much back to normal after all that sickness last week.  Not only did our family get the stomach bug, but Brad's mom, dad, brother, a couple aunts, uncles, and cousins got it too!  Pretty powerful stuff!  YUCK! 

It was really unfortunate that we didn't get to spend the little time we had in Iowa doing fun things, instead of being holed up in the house in our jammies.  Brad's mom, sister, and I didn't get our pedicures or get to eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant - which is always a tradition any time we're up there.  Yeah, yeah, I know what y'all are thinking... "Really, you go to Iowa to have Mexican food?!"  I swear, the place is really good.  No joke.

Even with the sicknesses, Brad and I got to spend some time at the cemetery, which is really important to us.  Nash's grave looked beautiful.  My mother-in-law takes such good care of it.  It was so sweet to watch Tate as he stared at the little marker.  He told Nash he loved him and blew him lots of kisses each time we went.  It's a very bittersweet thing to witness as a mother. 

We're so thankful for a safe trip.  Both the boys were troopers, despite being sick and away from home.  So I'm glad to be back... I think my blood has officially turned "Texan."  I can't stand being cold!!!  And to all those mommies up north, I am in awe at what you go through everyday to get your kids out of the house when the weather is so freakin' cold.  God bless you!!!

Hope all your Christmases were merry.  
Love to y'all,
Tracy

Poor Knox with his IV shunt... We had to keep it in for 24 hours in case he needed another round of fluids.

The Best of Buddies - Tate and Cade

Uncle Steven and Knox

The Sievers Family

Soooooo excited about their new football uniforms!!!

Mommy and Tate at church on Christmas Eve

The Cousins... Knox, Tate, Cade, Jensen, Colton

Me and My Boys

Christmas Eve is tiring for a little guy!

Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa Smith

"Throw Up is Kinda Like Poop"

We've been in Iowa for the past four days and ALL of us have been sick!!!  It started with Knox throwing up on Monday morning.  We took him in and found out he had a small ear infection and a stomach virus.  Needless to say, it was really rough and he had a really hard time.  He ended up getting a little too dehydrated and ended up in the ER on Tuesday to get an IV and some intravenus antibiotic.  Poor baby!  He had us all pretty worried. 

Then as Knox started taking a good turn, Tate was up all night on Tuesday, throwing up.  When he got done tossing his cookies for the first time, he looked in the toilet and informed me that, "Throw up is kinda like poop."  Nice.  By yesterday, Brad and his mom had gotten it and then last night I was lucky enough to join the club. 

So we've had an "interesting" vacation so far to say the least.  It's been ANYTHING but relaxing.  And we didn't get to do half the stuff we were planning on doing.  Hopefully we're all out of the woods now and that no one else gets it. 

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Candles for Nash

As many of you know, tonight is the annual Worldwide Candle Lighting created by the support group that I attend (The Compassionate Friends).  At 7pm local time, people around the world will be lighting candles for all children who have died at any age and from any cause.  We are asking for anyone who reads this to please light a candle in memory and in honor of our baby, Nash, tonight at 7:00.  

The "wave" of light that Nash will witness from heaven as each time zone lights their candles, will be the most beautiful light, I'm sure.  And I know that he will be smiling down, as he watches everything unfold.  I pray that in each of the lights that are lit for him, that Nash sees just how important he was and still is to this world.  I pray that he can see with his own big blue eyes the impact he has had on so many people.  

Thank you all for participating.  We are blessed to have each and every one of you by our side on this journey.  

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Christmas is in the Air!

The past few days have been quite the reminder that Christmas will be here before we know it!  On Thursday night, Tate had his Christmas Program at preschool.  Last year, he literally laid down behind the girls he was supposed to stand next to and didn't sing one word of any of the songs.  So I just prayed that he would at least stand up this year.  But my worries were put to rest when he stood there, sweet as could be, and sang all the songs just like he had practiced.  Phew!  (Notice the kid in the far left of the picture... HA!)

My brother, Trent, came in town on Friday for a visit since he can't get the time off work during Christmas.  So yesterday, the boys and I helped my mom and dad decorate their tree.  Then last night, we all ventured out to ride on the Polar Express.  They had a tent set up, where we all sang Christmas carols.  Then everyone went outside to board a real train.  Tate was so excited to see the snow they had blowing... he was trying to catch the snowflakes on his tongue.  We rode the train as more Christmas music played and the conductor came around and punched our tickets just like in the movie.  Then Santa showed up and shook all the kids' hands.  Tate was thrilled with the whole experience and Knox just sat there wide-eyed, trying to take it all in. 

This afternoon, my mom, Trent, Tate, and I went to the Galleria in Dallas and went ice skating around the HUGE tree.  Tate did pretty well, considering he'd never set foot in ice skates before.  Each time around, his confidence grew more and more.  By the time we were finished, he told me, "See, I told you I could ice skate."

I can't believe we leave for Iowa in less than two weeks!  We are all so excited to see Brad's family and celebrate Jesus' birth together!

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Giving Thanks

Here's my list of things to be thankful for this year:
1. Family
2. Yellow Balloons
3. A good night's sleep
4. Starbucks (for when I don't get #3)
5. True Friends

I asked Tate what he was most thankful for before I put him to bed,  Here's what he said (verbatum):
1. Knox
2. Blankie
3. Mom and Dad
4. Grandma and Grandpa

So sweet... but notice the order.  Hmmmm.

I'm sure Brad's list would go something like this:
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Softball
4. Lunches at Twin Peaks
5. Dinners at Twin Peaks

And Knox's list would be as follows:
1. Tate
2. Binkies
3. Trucks
4. Meatballs
5. Handy Manny

But seriously, we all know this is the time of year that it's important to reflect on how blessed we are.  I am blown away everyday at how much God has given me.  Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Love to y'all,
Tracy

A Whirlwind Weekend

Brad and I had a wedding to go to in Des Moines this weekend.  Since it's ridiculously expensive to fly there, we flew in to Kansas City to see his sister's family for a night and then drove the three hours to Des Moines Saturday morning.  Let me just say that it was the fastest-paced weekend we've had in awhile... Here's a quick run-down of how it went:

Leave work early to get to DFW Airport... Brad gets stopped while going through security for having a bullet (yes, a BULLET!) in his coat pocket... Waiting for luggage in KC and Brad realizes he forgot his suit back on the airplane (we were able to get it back)... Meet our niece, Jensen, for the first time (sweet, sweet baby)... Get in limo so we can go out for a night on the town to celebrate brother-in-law's 30th bday... Bar hop... Two step at a nice little honky tonk in KC... Get home around 3am... Sleep for four hours... Drive to Des Moines... Wedding at 1pm... Reception with a bunch of Brad's frat buddies (lots of college stories being told)... Out to the bar after the reception wraps up... Back to hotel... Up at 7:30am... Back to KC... Fly home...Get to the truck...  Brad forgets his suit on the plane AGAIN and has to go back through security to get it (no joke!)...Back home safe and sound with our boys.  PHEW!!!

Me and Colton

Cade

Brad and Baby Jensen

First stop on our adventure!

Taking a break from two-stepping.

Phi Delts

Love to y'all,
Tracy

I Didn't Know That...

Today Tate enlightened us a little bit with a conversation he had with my mom over lunch.  Lately, he's been complaining about having to drink milk.  The other day he told Brad and I that he was allergic to it, so he shouldn't drink it.  Then today, he was trying to get out of drinking it again.  The conversation went something like this...

My mom: "Tate, you need to drink your milk.  Daddy loves milk.  Uncle T loves milk.  Even Santa loves milk."

Tate: "Well Jesus doesn't."

Hmmm....

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Bad Guys!

Tate has always loved playing "superheroes."  He dresses up in costumes and pretends to be Spiderman, Power Rangers, or Batman on a regular basis.  But lately, he's been pretending to be a "Bad Guy."  This usually entails him using various parts of different costumes and then running around the house looking for "good guys" to get.  (I'm pretty sure he got this from when Brad dressed up as a convict for Halloween and I explained it to Tate as Daddy pretending to be a "bad guy.")

So tonight, he's playing bad guys again... I heard him yelling at the good guys.  Here's what he said:
"Hocus pocus.
Green beans.
Let my power
Turn you into electricity!!!"

No clue where that came from.... I wonder if it worked.

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Favorites of a Boy Mom

It's just a lazy Sunday afternoon... Brad's been gone all day at Texas Motor Speedway watching some Nascar thing, so the boys and I have spent the day together.  I felt like I should write something, but don't have tons to say tonight.  Weird.

Sitting here, I'm surrounded by reminders of the unrivaled amounts of testosterone in this house.  And I have to say, I relish it all...

A four year old in a black Power Rangers costume, a cape, and a knight's helmet running around, yelling at pretend bad guys as he saves the world... a little toe-head in a diaper banging the blinds next to the front door... a black Little Tykes truck to my left... football on the TV upstairs... "No, Tate, I haven't seen your light saber"... Monster Trucks under my feet... baseballs, footballs, soccer balls, basketballs, golf balls in every room of the house... pizza for dinner... a Camero Repair Manuel on the desk next to the computer... dirty fingernails... socks in the middle of the floor... T-shirts with sports logos on them in size XL, 5T, and 12 months in my washing machine... a Ford truck in the garage... and toothless smiles of all three of my little ones decorating the walls...

So much to be thankful for.

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Happy Halloween, Y'all!

Growing up in Wisconsin, Chicago, and Iowa, I can't remember many Halloweens that my carefully thought-out costume wasn't covered up by a winter coat... Well, let's just say, I don't think my kids will run into that problem while living down here in the Lone Star State.  When our car thermometer read 86 degrees at 5pm, I was worried my boys would get too hot in their long-sleeved costumes!  Crazy, huh?

Enjoy the pics of our little monkey and our tough Wolverine!

Happy Halloween!
Tracy

What a Weekend!

We began the weekend cheering on our Texas Rangers as they beat the Yankees in game 6 of the American League Championship on Friday night. 

Rangers Win the Pennant!!!

GO RANGERS!!!

And to top it off, this afternoon our very own Iowa State beat #19 Texas in Austin!!!  Gotta love it!

Proud to be a Cyclone!

Love to y'all,

Tracy

Unexpected

Today at school, I was using a computer program to create something that told about my family.  Naturally, I listed my boys' names... Tate, Nash, Knox.  Then I was inserting videos or pictures of them.  I didn't have any pics of Nash saved on my school computer, so I "googled" his name, thinking I would know what I'd see... his obituary or program from his funeral.  But I also knew there would be a great picture of him as well.  So I prepared myself and started typing.  The list that came up was what I had anticipated plus one more thing that I hadn't...

A blog post from the pastor that did Nash's funeral.  It was the exact sermon that he preached to us on July 5, 2008 - the day we said our final goodbyes and laid my baby boy to rest. 

I found myself reading and rereading it over and over again... I remembered some of it so very clearly and other parts I felt as if I'd never even heard.  By the end of it, tears were streaming down my face, as I was suddenly back to the searing pain of that day.

One portion of the sermon really stood out to me.  Reading it again now makes me well up.  But it also gives me great hope and so much faith that Nash is where he is supposed to be...

"Just as Jesus rebuked his disciples, saying, 'Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them...,' so He said to you, Tracy and Brad, on July 1st, 'Let lettle Nash come to me and do not hinder him.  I have prepared a playroom for him in heaven.  I have died and risen again for Nash, it is time for him to receive his crown of glory.  The time is right.  The time is perfect.'

Today, Nash Adam Sievers is crawling all over heaven.  He is playing patty cake with angels.  Nash is being cuddled by his great grandmas.  Today he plays peek-a-boo with his great grandpas.  The heavenly chorus is singing him lullabies.  There is no tear in his eyes but only smiles and laughter... forever.  Just as the Lord Jesus would take up the little children into his arms and cradle them, so Nash is being held by His Savior and tenderly caressed by the Savior who died for him... the Savior who bore the name "Nash Adam Sievers" inscribed upon His hands right near the place where the nails were driven in."

Wow.  So beautiful.

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Questions From a Big Brother

I've known that Tate would be affected by Nash's death differently as time went on.  Although he couldn't articulate it, he grieved for his baby brother in the first weeks following his death.  It was in July 2008 that Tate became suddenly attached to his green blankie... the one he still carries around over two years later. 

Over the years, Tate talks about Nash a lot.  He knows he's in heaven.  He knows he's with God and Jesus.  He has asked when we'll get to see him again.  I know he doesn't understand all of this quite yet... I mean, do any of us, really?  So I've always given him the best answers that I could come up with.

Last night, as I was tucking him into bed, we were saying prayers.  We always thank God for taking care of Nash in heaven.  It was at this point that Tate began asking me questions.  "But where is heaven?"  "How far is it?" And the list continued.  He then asked me why some people have to go to heaven.  So I said, "People go to heaven when they die."  And then came the question that is so innocent and so simple, but hurt so much to hear him ask... "Did Nash die?" 

As much as we've talked about Nash and where he is, I don't know if I've ever said those words to him.  "Nash died."  Just typing them seems strange and uncomfortable.  It was so difficult for me to answer him.  He asked me how he died and I told him it was because his heart didn't work the way it was supposed to.   He seemed to understand this as best he could. 

As we talked, Tate got a little teary-eyed, saying he missed Nash.  So I just reassured him that someday we'd all be with him again in heaven.  But instead of comforting him, these words made him get more emotional because he said he "wanted to stay here at our house." 

It's just such a hard thing to explain to a four year old.  Most kids his age just accept heaven as a place where God is and leave it as that.  But Tate has true questions about it... the same ones that we all do.  And unfortunately, all  I can do is try my best to explain something that I don't even quite understand. 

I know Tate will continue to question his brother's death.  His grief may deepen before he actually begins to heal.  I just pray that I can help him along in his journey by both comforting him and honoring his baby brother.

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Switch-Hitting and Fried Grilled Cheese

We started off our weekend going to Tate's T-ball game on Saturday morning.  Like many of you know, Tate has loved baseball since he came out of the womb.  I'm sure I'm a little biased... But I happen to think he's pretty talented for a four year old.  He's been hitting overhand pitches since he was two and is now at the point where he not only hits the balls over our fence, but over the driveway and into the neighbors fences as well.  It's pretty impressive if you ask me.  Anyway, he's always been left-handed when he bats, but since we've had do revert back to the tee for his games, we've been practicing a little on that too. 

Tate has now figured out how to hit right handed as well.  He can hit off his tee no problem and is also able to hit overhand pitches this way too. 

So yesterday as the game was winding down, his coach reminded him it was his last at-bat and told him to hit a good one.  Tate said to him, "I'm gonna hit it right handed. I know how to do this."  He then proceeded to line drive it straight through the infield into center field.  What a little ball player.  I couldn't be prouder of him.

Check out this video...

Today, we headed to the Texas State Fair to walk around and of course try as much fried food as is humanly possible.  Between us, we split homemade potato chips, a footlong hotdog, fried Twinkies, fried cheese on a stick, funnel cake, and fried grilled cheese sandwiches.  Mmmmmmmm..... 

Tate loved trying out all the cars in the Auto Show.

Sweet Brothers.

A long day of walking, fresh air, and fried food makes you VERY sleepy...

Love to y'all,
Tracy


Funny Fish

Tate always comes home from school singing a song they learned that day.  Yesterday evening, he let me record him singing "Funny Fish" - a song all about words that begin with the letter F.  So sweet I had to share...

Love to y'all,

Tracy

Mommy and Me Weekend

Brad went on a "boy's trip" this weekend to Galveston to go fishing.  He left on Thursday afternoon and gets back later tonight.  So Tate, Knox, and I had a weekend just the three of us. 

First off, I have to give soooo much credit to all the women that are single moms every day of the year... what a tough job!  I am EXHAUSTED to say the least and can't wait for Brad to get home.   I feel like he's been gone forever and has missed so much.

Knox's first tooth popped through Friday night.  It's barely there, but I can feel it poking through his gum... which is why he's had two terrible nights in a row.  I can't even count how many times I've trudged up and down our stairs in the last forty-eight hours. 

Tate had his second BLASTball game yesterday and did so well!!!  He hit great and was all over the field diving for groundballs.  He was a complete mess when we got home, but he was thrilled because he was awarded the "game ball" for his hustle during the game.  I couldn't have been prouder of him.

Of course I adore Tate and Knox, but I have to admit, I'm ready for a little help around here.  I'm predicting I'll be in bed before nine tonight.  Ahhhhh.... sleep.

Love to y'all,
Tracy

Swinging in the Rain

Every evening after dinner, Tate begs us to go outside to hit some baseballs.  Tonight was no different.  As we were clearing off the table, he was on his way to find his flipflops and batting helmet and was heading out the backdoor.  I warned him that it was getting a little dark and windy outside, but he didn't seem to mind.

After all, a little rain doesn't bother a real ballplayer, now does it?
Click here to watch a little video...

After all that excitement, Brad and the boys went in the garage to watch the rain.
Check out Tate in the rain...

Love to y'all,
Tracy

BLASTball!

I think today is a day that Brad has been waiting for since the moment in the hosipital when it was announced, "It's a boy!"  Tate had his very first T-ball game this morning! 

Their team is called, what else?  The Texas Rangers.  And there are only three other teams in the league.  Brad and two of his friends are the coaches and two of Tate's best buddies are on the team as well.  They call it BLASTball, but it's basically T-ball with a couple minor modifications to make it easier for four year olds.

Tate has been soooooo excited since Thursday when he brought home his "uniform" (T-shirt and hat).  He is convinced the front says "Texas Rangers" (its says BLASTball) and is thrilled he gets to be number 5, just like his daddy.  So Thursday night, he put on his shirt after his bath and wore it to bed and then kept it on for school yesterday.  I know, I know... We pick our battles around here, okay?  Anyway, my mom convinced him to let her wash it last night so he could wear it again today. 

So how'd it go?  Basically, he didn't want to field anything.  Just stood there looking cute.  When it was time for him to hit, he'd run out to the batter's box and swing like a little left-handed champ!  He knew exactly how to drop the bat and run to first base.  But he had trouble getting himself to run to second after the next kid hit the ball.  He'd act all shy and not want to run.  By the last inning, he finally got the guts up to run the bases, with a little coaxing from me. 

Overall, all the kids did a great job!  It was just so sweet to watch them out their playing like the big boys.  I couldn't be a prouder mama. 

Love to y'all,

Tracy

One more thing... after the game, I found Tate walking towards the other team while everyone was packing up.  I asked him what he was doing.  He said he was going over "to tell the green team they didn't win."  Guess we're gonna have to do a little bit more teaching on the subject of sportsmanship... Oops.

Breakfast of Champions...

GO RANGERS!!!